The Department of Stuff

So today I’m getting paid to give a shit about stuff. Professional activism! PS: if you’re in downtown Austin and you see people in Planned Parenthood or Southern Poverty Law Center shirts, come say hi (and give us monniiiieeesss)

So everyone knows that the hobbit calendar goes by ‘Shire Reckoning’ time, which is ‘roughly whatever day the hobbits agree it is’, and everyone knows the Bagginses have huge blow out house parties… do you think ‘Shire Reckoning’ lost a day or two each year around Bilbo’s birthday because the whole Shire was hung over?

Did anyone see the Pi in the Sky?

oyesiam1:

Mae Martin: «No it’s made of vegetables.»

source

I love the wry little grin at the comment about the short haired vegetables.

Reblog if you believe Marvel isn’t just ‘for boys’.

darylscrossbowarrow:

Okay you guys, I need your help with something. A girl in my class (I am also a girl) told me today that ‘Marvel is for boys.’(She’s 15, like me.) I (obviously) disagree with this, because it shouldn’t be for any specific gender.
So, to prove her wrong, please spread the word and reblog this to prove that Marvel isn’t just for boys.

I’m 25 and I still want to be Natasha when I grow up.

There was a guy with an open budwiser tallboy in his hand on the bus. No paper bag or anything. Zero fucks given. Like, this guy has been stockpiling fucks since the coldwar he gives so few.

intellectualbadarse:
HOLY SHIT SIGNAL BOOST
That hormone isn’t produced by all types of testicular cancer, but given that the normal range in guys is 1/10th what a non-pregnant woman’s levels are, a positive is still valuable information because even on a really sensitive test, that’s extremely elevated. So a negative doesn’t mean you’re cancer-free, but a positive is definitely a good reason to visit a doctor.
Also false positives in women can indicate the possibility of cancer in women, too!

intellectualbadarse:

HOLY SHIT SIGNAL BOOST

That hormone isn’t produced by all types of testicular cancer, but given that the normal range in guys is 1/10th what a non-pregnant woman’s levels are, a positive is still valuable information because even on a really sensitive test, that’s extremely elevated. So a negative doesn’t mean you’re cancer-free, but a positive is definitely a good reason to visit a doctor.

Also false positives in women can indicate the possibility of cancer in women, too!

instamaticflu:

alexdavidturnon:

quidditchisms:

hardartichokes:

At the end of the experiment, the student should be able to:
1. analyze the purity of aspirin.

He paused beside a pillar, before the tomb of a long-dead Stark. 
…figures. 

A jar of wasps which when released would sting deeply.
alright then

She had the kind of fingers you want to interlace with your own.

You get the last e-book I read on my phone because I don’t have a physical book at work.…and then he charmed the pants off Hades so hardWith his lyre and his singingThat Hades says"Fine, dude.Give me back my pants that you just charmed offAnd I will give you back your womanBut only if you pass a ludicrous and arbitrary test:See, your chick’s ghost will follow you all the way out of HadesBut you can’t look at her until you’re both in the real world or I get her for keepsies.”

instamaticflu:

alexdavidturnon:

quidditchisms:

hardartichokes:

At the end of the experiment, the student should be able to:

1. analyze the purity of aspirin.

He paused beside a pillar, before the tomb of a long-dead Stark. 

…figures. 

A jar of wasps which when released would sting deeply.

alright then

She had the kind of fingers you want to interlace with your own.

You get the last e-book I read on my phone because I don’t have a physical book at work.

…and then he charmed the pants off Hades so hard
With his lyre and his singing
That Hades says
"Fine, dude.
Give me back my pants that you just charmed off
And I will give you back your woman
But only if you pass a ludicrous and arbitrary test:
See, your chick’s ghost will follow you all the way out of Hades
But you can’t look at her until you’re both in the real world or I get her for keepsies.”

adriofthedead:

vicemag:

A quick tip for your elevator ride up to the office: grab a piping hot cuppa joe at the corner store and stick an egg in it to make a hard boiled morning snack.

just stick your hands in boiling hot coffee. go on. do it. just shove your fingers on in that blistering hot cuppa joe. throw an egg in there. who gives a shit. eat your god damn coffee eggs like the stupid slobbering idiot that you are


We’re also ignoring that the egg you just dunked I your coffee came out of a butt (the cloaca serves a dual function). So effectively you have just dropped something covered in bird poop in your coffee. DELICIOUS.

adriofthedead:

vicemag:

A quick tip for your elevator ride up to the office: grab a piping hot cuppa joe at the corner store and stick an egg in it to make a hard boiled morning snack.

just stick your hands in boiling hot coffee. go on. do it. just shove your fingers on in that blistering hot cuppa joe. throw an egg in there. who gives a shit. eat your god damn coffee eggs like the stupid slobbering idiot that you are

We’re also ignoring that the egg you just dunked I your coffee came out of a butt (the cloaca serves a dual function). So effectively you have just dropped something covered in bird poop in your coffee. DELICIOUS.

thatonedovahkiin:

jumpingjacktrash:

dharmagun:

buggy-heichou:

drugsandloveandshit:

havexheart:

No matter what combination, these are all gold.

 You Insecure crotch balloon

You tone deaf dick biscuit

you elitist taint blossom

you communist turd blossom

you communist ass dragon

The adjective - noun - noun combo works but you can also do noun - ing verb - noun -noun. Such as ‘ass munching cock goblin’ or ‘ass ramming douche nozzle’. And in fact you can say anything in that format and make it sound offensive - if you say it with the same inflection, ‘fun loving fluff muffin’ sounds like you just want to insult someone and hate cursing.

thatonedovahkiin:

jumpingjacktrash:

dharmagun:

buggy-heichou:

drugsandloveandshit:

havexheart:

No matter what combination, these are all gold.

 You Insecure crotch balloon

You tone deaf dick biscuit

you elitist taint blossom

you communist turd blossom

you communist ass dragon

The adjective - noun - noun combo works but you can also do noun - ing verb - noun -noun. Such as ‘ass munching cock goblin’ or ‘ass ramming douche nozzle’. And in fact you can say anything in that format and make it sound offensive - if you say it with the same inflection, ‘fun loving fluff muffin’ sounds like you just want to insult someone and hate cursing.